Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I’ve got facial hair

So I grew my goatee back. I don’t think I’ve sported facial hair since somewhere around 2002. I grew it for two reasons. The first is that Kevin Federline has one, and everyone knows his career is about to skyrocket – why not cash in on the look? The second is that I’m promoting a more rugged, dangerous Fred for 2006.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying, but your car burst into flames, you got stabbed, you survived a hurricane and you wrecked your motorcycle in 2005, how can 2006 possibly be more dangerous? All I can tell you is hold on tight my friends. This year I’ve set down the Coke, and I’m drinking the Jack straight from the bottle.

Blue Steel’s transmission went out again. It’s under warranty, but I had to rent a car to get to work this week. Enterprise hooked me up with a sweet Dodge Neon. It’s the silver Dodge of Danger. We all packed in it and drove downtown for some Thai food at lunch. Sounds crazy, I know, but nobody was injured.

Did you know that on this day in 1922, insulin was first administered to a human with diabetes? And now, pretty much every other person in America is diabetic.

Tonight’s open mic at Howling Coyote. I’m in the mood to go play, but I heard a rumor circulating last week that the guy who hosts it is in jail. I don’t know if that means they won’t be having it or not. I guess I can always go play at Acadia instead. I just always feel out of place though since all those regulars play heavy metal or punk, and I’m strumming along like Bob Dylan.

By the way, I’m reading the “Bob Dylan Chronicles,” and I came across an interesting quote. Apparently Dylan’s dad used to tell him, “You may not have all the things you want, but you should be thankful you don’t have the things you don’t want.”

Has anyone been keeping up with this whole “Million Little Pieces” Frey thing? Apparently The Smoking Gun cross-checked all the claims he made in his supposed non-fiction book about being a Hellion and assaulting cops and doing jail time, etc. None of it is true. Oprah made his book a bestseller by touting it in her book club, and apparently it’s all fake. He was never an outcast. He’s never done a day of jail time. He was on the high school soccer team, and was just a stupid frat boy in college. Personally, I’d never read the book, and I find it kind of humorous that the guy has made such a fool out of Oprah, but then again, it’s pretty damn lame that this guy goes on and on about how tough he is and all his jail time in interviews when he’s never even seen the inside of a cell. You can read it all here:
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