Friday, February 24, 2006

Jamming with a prodigy

I played open mic at Fountainhead last night. There's this incredible 15-year-old guitarist who's dad always brings him up and lets him play. He always does heavy metal stuff like Ozzy or Scorpions or stuff like that. Anyway, to be nice I asked him if he wanted to sit in and play lead guitar on my set last night. It was incredible. We did three of my songs and he improved the leads like he'd been playing them his whole life. The crowd loved it. I had three people tell me how great the songs were afterwards and one crazy guy tell me that he was a prophet and that the world's going to end in 2013. What's funny though is that the kid was so nervous. After each song he was like, "Was that OK? Do you want me to stop? I can do better on the next one." Now if I can just get Joey to stop going to the change early on Shakespeare, we'll really be money.

I think I'm going to Acadia tonight to see my friend's band Fourplay. They named it that because see, there's four of them, and they play music, and it's also an innuendo ... Fourplay, get it? I know, it's totally retarded. BUT, they have a beautiful lead singer with an incredible voice, so it's pretty much worth it to go see her.

Supposedly I've got some musicians coming over tomorrow for a practice/jam thing. My friend Yoka is starting a band and asked me to play bass. I'm supposed to meet these other guitarists and whatnot tomorrow. They want to play Evanessence type material, which is cool, but I get the feeling these guys may be total jackasses.

That's all my news.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Elvis Costello?

I played open mic at Acadia last night. My set went really well except that Joey kept going to the change too early on The Shakespeare Song. Stupid bass players.

Afterwards, a guy came up to me and told me how much he liked my set. He said I had a real Elvis Costello - Buddy Holly kind of vibe going. Now, I did just get glasses, but I didn't wear them to the bar, so that was kind of weird. I've never been compared to either of those artists before. I've heard Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Chris Isaak and Mick Jagger before, but that was a first for Buddy Holly and Elvis Costello.

There's a new waitress at Acadia named Rachel. She's tall, thin and waxes her eyebrows too much, but she's definitely the most attractive thing in that place. All the musicians were fighting over her yesterday. I'm sure she was thinking that with all those guys in there drooling over her that she was going to make serious bank. Too bad she didn't realize how poor all us musicians are until the end of the night.

I did laundry today. That's about it. I'm headed to Fountainhead for another round of open mic tonight. Hopefully whichever bass player I end up with, he'll get the changes right.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Cosmic Clocks

So I've come up with this new theory. Actually, it's kind of a theory in the making I guess, so maybe it's just a hypothesis. I don't know. However, I think it's a pretty cool idea. See, I was discussing with a friend how we always seem to meet the right people, but at the wrong times. We always click with someone, but after they're married or when they're going through some trying time in their life that doesn't allow for relationships. Anyway, it spawned this whole new line of thinking for me.

I think each one of us has our own cosmic clock. And this clock is responsible for all the events in our lives -- who you meet, where you go, how fast you get there, etc. In the beginning, everyone's clocks were all synced up. However, due to the chaos of the universe, times zones, daylight savings, whatever, everyone's clock slowly gets out of sync. With some people, it's really bad. It's like they were born into the wrong time altogether. A good example is all the artists and writers who never won acclaim until after their deaths. But with some people, it's just off a little. You meet the people you're supposed to meet, but just not at the right moment. Or you get where you're supposed to be, but leave just minutes before the reason you were brought there presents itself. You're always missing those opportunities that were fated for you because your clock isn't quite right.

Now what if there was a way to correct the timing on your clock. Sure, it would be great to do it for one person. Not everything in their life would go completely right because the clocks of all those they are interacting with may be off. However, they'd always be in the right place at the right time. BUT, what if there was a way to re-sync everyone's clock? Could it create world peace? Could it end hunger? Would everyone suddenly lead a charmed life?

I mean, after all, isn't everything based on timing? What's the premise of every movie or every sitcom? Timing. Someone knows this, but not that because they just missed hearing it from this person. Or these two people are perfect for each other, but pass as strangers in the street because their timing is never right.

It's still a flawed idea at this point, but I'm working on it. Maybe it would make a good premise for a movie or a self-help book or something. Who knows?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Bugs and Suds

We had a big cook-out yesterday. It was kind of last minute because we planned it, then cancelled it because Jace had to work, then the night before it was suddenly on again. Apologies to all my friends who didn't get invites in time. Of course, I only had 1 friend actually show up. Jace had about 10 friends show. Ben had about 10 friends show. I had 1. Uno. Now, she was the absolute hottest woman at the party, BUT I don't know if that counts for much since I'm not actually dating her, and she left early anyway. Never the less, despite my realization that none of my friends actually want to hang out with me, we had a good time.

Jace grilled up burgers, sausage and pork chops. Ben made queso and his signature boiled potatoes. One guy brought a bunch of crawfish. It was all delicious. Well, it was all good until I rubbed my eye with crawfish juice on my fingers. Then it was just burning and eyewashing. But after that, it was all good.

What's funny though is that we started at 5:00, and my friend was the first to get there, but she left around 8:00, I guess. Then all Jace's bartender and waitress friends left at 10:00. It was my brother's engineer friends that stayed and partied until the wee hours of the morning. Those crazy engineers. Who would have thought?

I didn't do anything today. Ben was off work for President's Day, so we just sat around watching movies. Tomorrow he leaves for Austin and Wednesday Jace leaves for Brazil. I'm just going to be sitting around the house alone. Big fun.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Hygiene Check

Have you ever had one of those moments where you run out of every hygiene product imaginable at the same time. This morning I struggled to get out the very last squeeze of toothpaste from the tube. Then shook out the VERY last of the shampoo. I had to pull the move where you unscrew the top, let a little water in the bottle, and then shake the diluted solution. I was out of toothpaste, deodorant, hair gel, shampoo, soap, and face wash all at the same time. How often does that actually happen? Anyway, I had to make a trip to the store. Of course, that got me thinking about how we'd kind of let the house get a little messy. I decided to just make it a hygiene Saturday. I cleaned the kitchen, swept, vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms, etc. I could do more, but my room is feeling sanitary again, so I've lost my motivation. I'll probably do some laundry though.

Exciting Saturday, I know.

My MySpace Addiction

Is anybody else addicted to MySpace? I only signed up on there because I was stuck in the house with no transportation during Hurricane Rita, and when you're all nervous with a natural disaster about to strike, you get desperate for human interaction, so I got on there and started chatting with other people in Houston. Then, next thing I know all my friends were on there, and we're having competitions as to who can collect the most friends and earn the most page counts. Then suddenly I'm meeting and dating women from there. It's just a big Internet snowball. What's worse is I've got like 112 friends, but I counted, and I only actually know 22 of them. Of those 22, I probably only actually talk to like 5 of them. Yet, when I log in and suddenly I only have 111 friends instead of 112, I feel all hurt because someone deleted me and didn't want to be my friend. It doesn't matter that I can't actually figure out who it was that deleted me, I still feel the pang of rejection.

Anyway, I'm locked out of my account tonight, so I'm suffering from withdrawal. I keep getting a message that says, "Due to an excessive amount of failed log-in attempts, this account has been locked for 15 minutes." Yeah, apparently I have a myspace stalker/saboteur. I don't know how I feel about that. Like, if it's someone just wanting to go through my e-mails, I'm a pretty open guy. They could have just asked, and I would have let them. But, if it's someone wanting to jack my shit up, that's just wrong. You don't mess with a man's automobile, and you don't mess with his myspace page.

Maybe 15 minutes is finally up now, and I can log in to see if I have any new messages!!!!

Friday, February 17, 2006

Do trucks get embarrassed?

So I was stuck in traffic downtown today, and I saw this one big semi truck pulling three other semi trucks. You know, it was one of those weird truck-humping configurations where the bottom of each cab is hooked up where the trailer should go. Anyway, I started wondering if trucks get embarrassed about that. Like, does the truck in front think it's a bigger man for pulling the other trucks? Do the trucks in back get jealous that they weren't chosen to be the one pulling? Do the trucks in tow get self-conscious that everyone thinks they're a pussy because they're getting towed by another truck? Until Optimus Prime finally decides to accept my intergalactic invitation for a beer and an oil change, I guess we'll never know.

I got called for a commercial audition yesterday. They wanted me to audition as the "mid-30s Dad of a family of five." That made me feel pretty old. Then when I got there all the other moms and dads were easily 20 years older than me. Hopefully if I do end up with the role they'll at least pair me up with a young, hot mom. I mean, theoretically if there'd been an accident my first time out, I could have an 11-year-old by now. However, I like to think I don't look anywhere near 35, especially since I'm NOT!

Today's Jace's birthday. We were going to take him some really feminine balloons and embarrass him at the bar, but he foiled our plans by getting the night off. Happy 26 Jace.

We were watching the Contender Rematch fight the other night, and I started wondering where fighters get their names. One of the guys was the "Latino snake." Anyway, that led to the discussion of how all the good animal names are already taken. To be original you'd have to be like "The Albino Anteater" or something. However, I'm wondering why nobody's ever just decided to sell their fighting name to a corporation for some major cash. I decided that if I was a fighter, I'd be "Fred The Viagra Facker" because "I'll stay hard through your beating." My brother said he'd be "Ben The Cialis Facker" because "he'll be hard on you for more than four hours, and then you're going to consult a physician." UFC, here we come!

I played at Fountainhead last night. Last week I showed up a little late, and they ended up running out of time before I could play, so last night they let me start everything off. They let me do five songs, and I thought it was one of my better sets. The crowd was really into it. Then as soon as I finished this lady started buying me drinks. You know you've either done really well or so bad that everyone feels sorry for you when you start getting drinks sent your way. Anyway, the lady works at Sound Revolution, which made it more flattering that she dug my music since she's totally one of those "High Fidelity" type music nuts.

We finished shooting episode four of "From the Rooftop" last weekend. It's a talk show spoof, so I kind of play the Paul Schaeffer character -- only much better looking. I wrote and recorded all these little segment intro songs. Some of them are pretty catchy. I've seen a little bit of the footage, and I think this may be the best one yet.

I feel so lame. It's Friday night, and I'll I've done is blog.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Random Conversations

Scene: Jace and I are sitting in the living room watching television.

Jace: I can't believe Jason Priestly is back on television. I thought he had thrown in the towel.
Fred: I think he was in a bad car accident or something, and had to take time off to recover.
Jace: No, it wasn't a "car" accident. He tried to be a freaking racecar driver and crashed. Why would you think that just because you're an actor you could be a racecar driver. The guy is an idiot.
Fred: Paul Newman was a racecar driver.
Jace: Yeah, but Paul Newman makes salad dressing. The guy's a fucking renaissance man. He can do whatever he wants. Jason Priestly doesn't make shit.
Fred: So you're saying if Jason Priestly made salad dressing he could have been a better racecar driver?
Jace: No, I'm just saying I hate that guy.

Scene: I'm sitting in my bedroom listening to "High and Dry" by Radiohead.

Jace: So that's the real version of the song?
Fred: Yeah, it's "The Bends" album.
Jace: Dude, you don't sound much worse than they do.
Fred: Thanks?
Jace: No, you know what I mean. You can totally hit the notes, your voice just isn't as good.
Fred: Awwww, got it.

Scene: My brother's friends from work stop by before going to Tumbleweed Texas.

Fred: Did you see that girl? She keeps asking to see my brother's bed.
Jace: That girl is rough.
Fred: No kidding.
Jace: She looks like she got stomped with a shoe.
Fred: The ugly shoe.
Jace: And it had cleats ... she got stomped by the ugly golf shoe.
Fred: Well, my brother does love golf.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I'm 28

So I turned 28 last week. This is a problem. I had always planned to be famous and dead by 27. Now, here I am still breathing at 28 -- nowhere near famous. This ruins everything. First off, I'm going to have to start a savings account. Start thinking about retirement. Stuff like that. No Bueno.

I haven't been doing much of anything lately except working out and playing guitar. They're having a contest on the Mixx looking for a band to open for Bon Jovi. That would be one sweet gig. Unfortunately, I have no band, it's just me.

We're filming another episode of From the Rooftop on Saturday. It's going to be a talk show format. I'm going to work up some little musical intros for all the segments. Should be fun. I got the saxophone out Sunday for the first time in months. We'll see if I can pull off something halfway decent.