Thursday, August 31, 2006

Dying alone

We had a lady at our office die over the weekend. She lived alone and had no real family. When she didn't show up to work on Monday, a couple of employees went to her house looking for her. They found a note on the door from the coroner stating that she was deceased and that if anyone knew next of kin they should contact the county coroner's office.

Apparently she was able to dial 911 as she had the heart attack, so at least they came and found her, and she didn't just lay there all weekend, but it's still so sad that she didn't have anyone close enough to her to even know she was gone.

That's pretty much why I want to make sure I die in an explosion big enough that it's visible to a 100-mile radius. That way whether or not you knew me, you'll definitely KNOW when I'm gone.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

So we go back to the river, battle the bees, battle the ants, and almost see Bob Seger

So we went back to the river for the weekend. I wouldn’t label it as a disaster, but it wasn’t the smoothest trip we’ve ever taken. Don’t get me wrong, there was still plenty of fun, but there was equal torture for every moment of fun.

As usual we didn’t leave the house until around 9:30 p.m. Friday night and rolled into camp around 12:30 a.m. We tried to camp at a place called Mountain Breeze Camp because it was suggested by my skydiving instructor, but they weren’t too keen on people showing up past midnight. That meant we were headed back to O’Henry’s Hideaway. We pulled in and set up camp, and then had a few beers while we played guitar. That’s when the cute little skunk decided to come visit. He just kind of rooted around the campsite and then hung out under the truck for a while. Then he decided to scurry away. Thankfully he didn’t leave us any scented reminders of his visit.

We got up Saturday morning about the time Cassie and Christa rolled in. They had worked Friday night, so they hadn’t slept at all. The girls went at least 36 hours without sleep this trip. It was ridiculous.

As we got up and started wandering around the camp we realized we had an all new problem. BEES! Lots and lots of bees! There were bees everywhere, and if you didn’t know, bees LOVE really sweet-tasting, fruity, girly drinks. Cranberry vodka? Oh yeah, bees LOVE them. Sure enough, before the weekend was over, Cassie got stung on the wrist, and I got a nice sting on the palm of my hand. Plus, there was that constant fear that perhaps a bee had crawled into your can and you were about to drink a bee!

We headed down to the Comal for a float. The girls had mixed up this huge jug of cherry lime shots to supplement the beer as we were floating. Well, about 30 minutes into the float, someone didn’t get the lid back on the jug very well, and it emptied into the cooler. That was the origin of our “cooler shots.” There’s nothing like just scooping a cupful of alcoholic water out of the cooler and shooting it down. What’s so funny was that the girls started offering people “cooler shots”, and this one lady was like, “Jell-O shots?!!! Thank you!” But then they handed her a freaking cup of cooler water. It was too funny. The lady shot it down and said it was delicious.

We decided to ride the river a second time. Some of us wore sunscreen. Some of us didn’t. Those that didn’t paid the price by the end of the second trip. Jace and Cassie were majorly sunburned.

We decided to grab dinner at The Grist Mill in Gruene. When we got there, we saw this HUGE long line of people waiting to get into Gruene Hall. Once we finally got seated at The Grist Mill we asked our waiter who was playing. He said “Bob Seger.” Well, Jace flipped out because he’s a HUGE Bob Seger fan, so he was like, we HAVE to get tickets! He took off over to the hall to find out more details while we waited to order. We also started getting more and more excited about seeing Bob Seger. Then Jace gets back, and it was actually Bob Schneider, so then we didn’t really care. Not that Bob Schneider isn’t good, but you can see him anywhere.

Meanwhile there was live entertainment at The Grist Mill. This old married couple were playing in front of the water tower, and it reminded me of Will Farrel/Anna Gasteyer as Bob and Marty Culp. Geez they were bad. I need to get a CD and some headshots over to that place, and get some gigs.

So after a chicken fried steak, we headed back to the campground. Unfortunately there was no DJ Shawn in effect this Saturday. They didn’t have enough campers to bring him out for karaoke. That was a real disappointed. So to make up for it we started a big fire, and spent like three hours burning stuff and playing guitar. Good times.

So we finally went to bed Saturday night. I lay down, and after a few minutes I feel something biting me. I find a few fire ants crawling on my legs. That’s not cool, but I figured, hey, we ended up with a few ants in the tent, it’ll be fine. Then there were more bites. And more bites. And MORE bites. And then Cassie woke up over on her air mattress because she had started getting bitten. We turn on the flashlight, and there’s a HUGE trail of ants marching up the middle of the tent. They were freaking moving in. They were carrying their little larva babies up the middle of my tent and making a new nest under my foam pad.

Obviously, action had to be taken. I went and got the OFF, which isn’t actually bug killer, but I figured if I sprayed enough of it on the ants then even if it didn’t poison them they would probably drown. I probably spent close to half an hour spraying ants, squishing ants, and sweeping ants back out of the tent. It was awful. I ended up with at least a dozen fire ants bites on my arms, legs, stomach, back and groin region. They’ve been pussing up all day. It’s real comfortable – not to mention attractive.

So we finally declared the tent ant free and went back to bed. Well, the ants weren’t completely gone, but were gone enough that it was possible to get an hour or two of sleep between bites.

This morning we got up, packed up and headed home. Jace and Cassie attempted a new sunburn treatment which consisted of rubbing shaving cream all over their bodies. Supposedly the shaving cream draws out the heat. My thought is that shaving cream just has aloe and lotions in it, so it’s basically the same as rubbing lotion on it, but hey, that’s just me making assumptions and drawing conclusions. I’m not going to tell anyone not to rub shaving cream all over their body if they want to.

So you’d think, trip over, end of adventure, right? Wrong. We decided to go to McDonald’s on the way out of time. The time was 10:58 a.m. We hit the drive-through – they wouldn’t serve us lunch. I walk in thinking they’re not going to hassle a customer face to face over two freaking minutes, and I’d get my quarter pounder and be on my way. Wrong. They were like, “Sorry, it’ll be a couple more minutes.” So we say, fine, and got sit down. A guy walks up RIGHT after us, and orders a Big Mac – they give it to him. We’re like, screw that, and walk back up, but then this other lady hops in front of us in line. She gets her order too. So we finally order, and the girl gives us our drinks, but no food. Then two more people order and get their food. We’re still waiting on our food. The whole thing was turning into a Seinfeld episode.

Anyway, we finally got our food, got home, did some laundry. Now I’m just chilling out watching the Emmy’s and scratching all my bug bites.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Another incarnation of the General Lee

So continuing with the “modes of transportation painted like the General Lee” theme, here’s a golf cart that was parked outside the clubhouse of the golf course next door to Skydive Houston. Maybe it belonged to Tom Wopat.

Anyone here ever competed in an Ironman Triathlon? You swim 2.4 miles, bike for 112 miles, and then run a 26-mile marathon. I just interviewed a guy that competed in Germany. He crashed his bike and broke his collarbone 15 miles into the second stage, but got back up and finished the biking. Then he had a volunteer help him put his running shoes on since he could barely move his right arm, and he ran the marathon in 5 hours. He said it was the slowest time he’d ever had, but I was like, it was also the only time you’ve ever run one with a broken bone. He made me feel like a wussy-baby.

I’m so ready for the weekend. I just want to be sitting on the river again. There’s no way we could outdo the last trip, so we’re changing it up and floating the Comal this time. Plus, Ben and Jace are bringing their women, so it won’t just be a big testosterone festival this time around.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Do Bo and Luke ride this together?!!!

I heard they do – while wearing Daisy Dukes. I wonder who drives and who wears the “if you can read this the bitch fell off” t-shirt.

It’s been an uneventful week so far. All I do in the evenings anymore is go home, eat dinner, work out and practice guitar. I’ll probably play some Nickelback and some Jane’s Addiction at open mic tonight, which is really hypocritical because I can’t even stand Nickelback on the radio anymore, but then I heard that new Rockstar song, and I thought it was hilarious, so now I want to play it. I’m an idiot.

I’m two-and-a-half weeks into my fitness program for the possible vampire action-movie role. I’m really starting to see a difference, and I’ve dropped about five pounds, but usually the real progress doesn’t happen until past the four-week mark. I guess it keeps me out of trouble in the evenings, but I’m sure going through a lot of Advil.

We’ve decided to take one last float trip before the summer’s over, so we’re going back to New Braunfels this weekend. This summer has been the most fun I can remember in a long time – playing acoustic shows on the patio of The Boat, Lebowski Fest, two trips to the beach, a trip to Lake Travis, a couple trips to the river, and skydiving – it doesn’t get much better than that.

I think we’re going to try and float the Comal this time as the Guadalupe is so low you have to walk half of it. I’ve heard bad things though. Some people say it’s filthy from too many tubers coming through. Some people say the police are waiting for you all up and down the river to ticket you for noise violations, littering, and public intoxication. Then again, some people say it’s all hearsay. I guess we’ll find out.

Monday, August 21, 2006

There were snakes on our plane, so we jumped out

Originally uploaded by ffacker.
We went SKYDIVING this weekend!!! Saturday morning Jace told me that he had gotten his little sister Jessica a skydiving trip for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to go along. Hell YEAH I did!

We headed out to Skydive Houston Sunday afternoon. It’s located north on 290 out by Hockley. We printed directions from Mapquest, and of course, in true Mapquest fashion, they were wrong. We got a nice tour of the Texas countryside though.

We jumped tandem – a “trained professional” is strapped to you, so instead of having to sit through hours and hours of training you simply sign your life away on several forms, sit through a non-intentionally hilarious video narrated by some guy with a gigantic beard and get about 10 minutes of instruction as you’re being fitted for your harness and ushered off to the plane.

I did notice that the jumpsuits provided for the girls were all actual skydiving suits whereas the jumpsuits provided for the guys were just old Dickies. What’s up with that? I’m bringing my own spandex body suit next jump!

I was thrilled when I found out I was being strapped to the gorgeous 6’-tall tandem instructor. But seriously, how do you impress a girl that spends her weekends jumping out of an airplane?!!!

So we did a lot of sitting around waiting on our turn. We showed up at 2 p.m., and we didn’t actually fly until around 4:30. However, there were plenty of interesting people to chat with while we waited. I actually ran into a guy from my office. Apparently he had already jumped four times and was about to go a fifth. Monetary limitations aside, I’m not sure I could handle that much adrenaline in a day -- I had the adrenaline shakes for like two hours after the one jump.

Our turn to fly finally came around, and we headed out to the plane. It was really cramped with a low ceiling – it felt just like the scenes in little planes in the movies. A couple solo divers jumped before us, but I was the first one from our group to go. To prepare for the jump I had to sit on my instructor Theresa’s lap while she clipped us together and tightened up my harness. I suggested that maybe we should be strapped face to face – you know, for a little extra security (wink, wink) but she wasn’t buying it.

Walking to the door was a little awkward. Being strapped in front you have to lean back with your legs out in front of you – kind of like sitting in a chair, but walking while sitting in a chair. I really wasn’t nervous until we started making the walk to the door. Then, only as I was standing with my toes over the edge of the doorway looking down at the world from 14,000 feet with the cold wind blowing in my face, did I say to myself, “Why the hell am I about to jump out of a plane?”

We didn’t exit with style. I was stiff as a board and Theresa kept tapping me trying to get me to loosen up. There’s something about that feeling of falling. It’s hardwired into my brain to be associated with a hard smack against the water or the ground or whatever I’m jumping or falling on to. The thing about skydiving is there’s no smack – hopefully. Once we were in free fall for a few seconds and I realized there was no immediate smack to be had, I really started enjoying it. I shook hands with the camera man in the air, and he spun us around in circles. It was amazing. The air was rushing over my face at a ridiculous speed. It actually made it kind of hard to breathe just because I couldn’t suck enough air in. Then suddenly, we’ve stopped and we’re just floating over the Texas countryside. It was just total silence as we hung there. Theresa pointed out the Houston skyline to me through the haze on the horizon. Then she let me steer the chute, showed me how to brake, etc. I could have floated all day – drifting in circles on the wind.

Since there were two of us, we had to do a slide landing. Basically you raise your legs and pull the steering cords down all the way right as you get to the ground, and it sets you down on your butt. Apparently that’s the safest way to land with two people because it’s hard to walk anyway when you’re strapped together.

I didn’t realize how much adrenaline I had going until we were on the ground, and Theresa handed me my first jump certificate. My hand was just shaking uncontrollably. The feeling didn’t wear off until at least an hour later when we stopped to eat at PF Chang’s on the way home.

I watched my DVD of the jump when I got home last night, and just watching the freefall section made my heart beat double time. It’s just an amazing feeling.

Will I jump again? Yes. But considering it’s almost $200 a jump, and I'm a poor bastard, probably not anytime soon.

Clements class of 1996 Reunion

Clements class of 1996 Reunion
Originally uploaded by ffacker.
I had my 10-year reunion Saturday night. Unfortunately a lot of the people I actually wanted to see didn’t show up. I’d say the bulk of the attendees were a bunch of girls who had been really popular in high school. They were all walking in with their husbands at the same time I was. Most of them were pregnant. I think they must have called each other about seven months ago and said, “Reunion’s coming up, time to get knocked up!!!”

Lots of engineers. Lots of people “in sales” -- whatever that means. One EMT, one family counselor, and one graphic artist. Didn’t find any other writers.

I did find out that the girl who dated the Brazilian foreign exchange student that lived with us for a year is now lesbian and married to her partner. Apparently they bought a popsicle and had a daughter. Interesting stuff. I wonder if Fabio knows that he turned his girlfriend into a lesbian!!!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ten years too late

I'm astounded that someone has finally been arrested for the JonBenet Ramsey murder. Seriously, who knew the police were even still working on that. I thought everyone had decided her parents did it. Now some guy says he accidentally killed her while he was kidnapping her. Too weird.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Down on the hippo farm

So here's a little ponderance. When a pig goes to slaughter, it weighs 200-400 pounds. When a cow goes to slaughter, it weighs 400-550 pounds. Now stay with me here. Hippos can weigh anywhere from 3525-7055 pounds. Why aren't we breeding hippos in all our neighborhood drainage bayous and feeding everyone hippo?!!!

Seriously, they look delicious to me. I think this plan is totally going to work.

Jesus was a Rotweiller

Tube Time
Originally uploaded by ffacker.
How do I even start to describe the weekend? We stepped into that weird world of rednecks, retirees, and rock star wannabes that you can only find in resort/vacation towns.

Just out of pure accident did I make reservations at O’Henry’s Hideaway on the Guadalupe River. I had tried getting us into a state park, but they were all booked up. O’Henry’s was just the first place I found while surfing the web for another site. What I didn’t know is that most people go to O’Henry’s due to the fact that the camp quiet time is set much later than other camps. While most have quiet time starting at 9:00, O’Henry’s sign states that theirs starts at midnight. However, the camp really never got quiet before 2 a.m. Another big draw of O’Henry’s is the fact that they host karaoke on Saturday nights.

This campsite drew a younger crowd, which was cool. We didn’t roll in until after midnight and were greeted by a couple girls from Dallas offering Jell-O shots. We had a few beers with them, strummed the guitars for a few minutes, and then headed to bed.

Saturday morning we went into town for breakfast and beer. We pulled into The Skillet for some breakfast as it apparently had a buffet. That was an instant flashback to the small-town greasy diners where I used to go eat breakfast with my grandfather as a kid. Everyone in there was a local, and the majority of them were definitely taking advantage of the senior citizen discount.

There was this booth full of granny-fros behind us, and they got up to leave at the same time we did. On our way out they stopped us and said, “You sure are nice boys. You’re so well behaved, you just don’t see that much anymore. And you never know who’s watching because Jesus is always watching. And Jesus was a Rotweiller, hahahahaha.”

I’d heard the “Jesus is a Rotweiller” joke before. Has something to do with a parrot and a burglar. However, Ben, Jace, and Travis were standing there with this blank look on their faces and this old lady was just laughing her ass off at her own joke that made no sense. Comedy gold if I’ve ever seen it.

We were torn between floating that upstream part of the Guadalupe River near O’Henry’s or going downstream to the more popular part. We also thought about going over to the Comal, but the convenience of not having to drive anywhere from where we were outweighed everything else. We hopped on the bus and got dropped a couple miles upstream.

The river was low and moving slow. The few rapid places were so shallow that we had to walk them. However, the upside was nice people and NO cops. We met some girls from Conroe that were also staying at our camp and floated with them most of the day.

We got back to the camp that evening and Ben and I made a run to Sonic for some food while Jace and Travis took a nap. Then we ate and played guitars until around 9:00 when they cranked up the karaoke.

Now, the karaoke DJ went by DJ Shawn. This guy was like 40 with the big mullet hair, and the belief that he was truly the best singer that ever lived. He kept rocking us with total 80s metal songs. He was sooooo into it. Of course, me being the rockstar that I am, I had to challenge his superiority, so I started getting WAY into my Rolling Stones covers with the hip shimmies and gyrations, etc. I think he was getting a little upset with my prowess. So towards the end of the night, he closes with some total heavy metal something-or-other, and he’s all marching through the whole place fist pumping and gyrating like crazy. We got some seriously awesome pictures of this. That’s about where my memory of the night ends. However, there was an apparent side affect of my karaoke mojo that I wasn’t expecting. This 65+-year-old lady who worked at the camp was apparently coming onto me. There’s now a great picture circulating where she’s hugging up on my back.

So after that we went down to the river, splashed around a bit. Then I woke up in a wet swimming suit on the floor of my tent.

We had planned to float the Comal on Sunday, but everyone was so hung over, and Travis was so sunburned we decided to call it a day and just head home. All-in-all, a very successful weekend -- definitely the most fun I’ve had in a long time.


So did everyone on earth just break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends or file for divorce? Seems like everyone I know has within the last two weeks.

Friday, August 11, 2006

The History of Tubing

In just a couple of short hours, we will be on our way to New Braunfels for a fun-filled weekend of tubes, sun, and beer.

In honor of this event I have compiled for you a brief summary of the history of tubing.

Tubing originated in the Greek Isles. During the celebration Dionysus, the Greek god of wine and fertility, the Greek women would swim across a stream fed by the melting snow of Mount Olympus and display their boobies to the men on the other side. The men in turn would take bloated sheep stomachs, and float across the river with wine to seduce the fair maidens.

With the advancements of the Romans, and the adoption of so many customs from other cultures, tubing was continued under the Latin name "bovis venter no." This literally translated to "Cow Stomach Float" as the Romans used the larger, four-chambered stomachs of cows to get a better ride as they floated down the aquaducts that they built to bring water into town.

After Constantine adopted Christianity and the Catholic Church grew in power, tubing was banned as a pagan activity. As you may have read before, many poor souls were burned as witches if they floated the river. Floating in water was strictly forbidden.

It wasn't until the industrial revolution that tubing once again briefly came into fashion as many grist mills and textile factories were powered by water wheels along rivers perfect for floating. However, the pollution of these streams soon put an end to the passing fad as most people who dared to brave the soiled waters ended up going blind or dying of the black lung.

It seemed as if this enjoyable passtime had suddenly become just a footnote in the annals of history -- that is however until the surrender of General Santa Anna to Colonel Steve Austin as Texas won its Independence from Mexico. In the charter detailing the terms of surrender, Santa Anna, a closeted, but avid tuber, added a rider stating that all Mexicans would still have the freedom to tube the Rio Grande for all time. Santa Anna truly believed this would be his lasting legacy to the Mexican people and revenge on the new Texas government. Little did he realize that farmers would soon build so many dams upstream of the Mexican border that the might Rio would soon be reduced to just puddles of standing water for most of the year.

Tubing didn't return as a regular Texas pastime until the year 1861. The Wagon Wheel Festival was held that year, and residents of the New Braunfels area turned out in force for the celebration. They floated the river by lashing several wooden wagon wheels together. On these platforms they then barbecued and drank in a contest of skill. You see, the large diameter, but slender wagon wheels did not balance well, and the last one atop their wheel and still drinking was declared the winner. Sadly, most people of this time period did not know how to swim, so there were more than a few drownings, but alas, it was all in the name of fun.

Unfortunately, it was also 1861 when the Civil War began. This North/South turmoil was on the minds of everyone and tubing was forgotten. However, in 1886, the first car was invented. And with the car, came the first predecessors of tubes as we know them. Once again, tubing was an American pastime.

1935 was another stellar year for the sport of tubing as beer cans were invented. THe use of cans, rather than bottles or frosty mugs on the river proved much safer during drunken brawls. The crushing of cans on the forehead of young males also became a mating ritual which was used to attract nubile, drunken, and easily impressed females.

After World War II, American factories were in full swing cranking out tubes. While these tubes had all been sent to the war effort overseas, they could now be diverted to homeland recreational markets.

Let me tell you why this terrorism scare is COMPLETELY retarded

So I hear there's a giant terrorism alert. Everybody's panicking. The British government has identified some 20-odd people who were supposedly going to take chemical bombs concealed in Gatorade bottles and detonate them on planes.

First off, these guys weren't even in the airport. These guys hadn't even BOUGHT plane tickets yet. When they raided them or whatever these guys were simply online browsing ticket prices. This threat never made it anywhere NEAR the airport.

Secondly, it's been repeated and repeated that they were going to use a chemical bomb in a gatorade bottle, but nobody can quite say what kind of chemical it was, and there's been 50 different reports as to whether they were going to detonate it with a flash from a disposable camera, a battery, an iPod, a radio or what. Do you know what this means? It means there was no working Gatorade bomb. I can say with 99% certainty just from all the conflicting news reports that these guys never finished creating a working bomb.

Thirdly (if that's a word), if there WAS an actual threat from explosive chemicals, airport security would not be making everyone dump their liquids out in a big vat in the middle of a crowded airport terminal. Seriously, would we really have big vats of poisonous or explosives chemicals in the airports? No.

I'm not saying there wasn't a terror plot, but their chances of succeeding were slim at best. The authorities nipped it in the bud (which these guys have apparently been under investigation for months), and there is no actual threat. All this airport security bullshit is un-needed and simply for show. I don't know if it's just to keep the whiney babies and overprotective mothers happy, so that they think the government is being pro-active to keep us all safe or if this is just playing up the terror, so everyone will vote Republican, but it's bullshit. There's no need for security to be putting everyone who's travelling this week through total Hell just for show.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

They said grass would make me more creative, but I'm just itchy

Originally uploaded by ffacker.
Somehow I just went into a meeting to discuss how we need to change two of the links on a certain website to point to different URLs, but came out of the meeting having committed to design an entirely new page? How did that happen? Oh well, maybe I'll get to design it in Flash.

I'm on a major workout kick. It's always interesting to see how long these last. I was in really good shape mid-March, but then I got sick and the new job started, etc. Now I'm back to square one. However, I got a call from a casting agency in California about a vampire action movie. They liked my look, but wanted an updated headshot and resume. I mailed them one with my fingers crossed, but then realized I definitely don't have the abs that I did in the picture. Time to get on that. So now I have a goal to keep me working out. I doubt I'll get the part, but at least it's keeping the dream alive.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I'm selling the Mustang

My 1966 Mustang
Originally uploaded by ffacker.
Due to lingering costs from my house and divorce paired with skyrocketing gas prices I'm selling the 1966 Mustang. It's a 289 V8 with a C-4 Automatic. First $8,000 takes it home. E-mail me if you want more pictures or details.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Watch this -- front flip!

Originally uploaded by ffacker.
I finally went and checked out the neighborhood pool. I had to show some kids what was up on the diving board. Problem is, I hadn't been to the pool in years and my mind remembers my diving board abilities as if I was still 22, totally in shape, and working at the pool everyday. My body was in disagreement.

I was surprised to find that I could still swim 25 yards underwater with no trouble -- that's the length of a pool. Back in the day I could go 50 yards and halfway back before having to come up for air. Ben could make a full 75. I tried for 50 yesterday, but after making the underwater turnaround at 25 I didn't even make it halfway back the other way before coming up for air.

I went to ju jitsu with Jace Friday night. I'm not sure if I'm going to start training with him every week or not. It would be fun, but it's another added expense to an already expensive life. Maybe I'll just stick to playing music.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

I'm so sick of the car magnets

Originally uploaded by ffacker.
I thought it was a bit superficial when everyone jumped on the "We support our troops" yellow ribbon car magnets. Then there were breast cancer magnets and HIV magnets -- a magnet for every cause. But now you can even get one to support your favorite sex workers with the new "Support Lap Dancing" car magnet.

The Livestrong bracelets are totally played out too. Plus their causes don't color coordinate to the car magnets at all. That's just too lame for my sense of fashion.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday morning

I'm in a good mood this morning. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because one of our HR ladies brought donuts. Maybe because it's Friday. For the last three or four weeks I've made it a habit of picking up a burrito from Freebirds every Friday after work and just relaxing. Maybe I'm excited about my impending burrito lunch.

Did anyone see It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia last night? That show just cracks me up. I haven't liked a TV show in a long time, but Sunny makes me want to stay home on Thursday nights just to see what zany antics that group of nuts has in store for me. I also saw The Office last night. I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm going to say Sunny and The Office are the two funniest shows on television. I know, it's a big claim, but since we're not putting any money on this, I think I'm safe making it.

I've got to buy new shoes. I've been sporting a pair of black Converse All-Stars for almost two years now, and I'm losing the sole off my right one. Normally, I'd just take $40 and buy another pair, but things have gotten complicated. Jace just bought himself some black Converse. While flattering that he wants to emulate my incredible fashion sense, I now have to find a pair of shoes that are cooler and more Indy Rock than my Chuck T's, so that I can remain cooler than him. I guess I'll spend the afternoon surfing through pictures of concerts on the Internet trying to figure out the footwear choices of succesful rockers. Why can't it just be about the music?

I'm going back for seconds on the donuts.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I'm calling for a radio revolution

Ok, this is simple. Let's just NOT play Nickelback for a week. Seriously, no Nickelback on the airwaves for seven days. Let's see if anyone misses it. If so, you can put them right back into rotation as every other song on the radio. If not, maybe we can let them just slip into oblivion forever ... please.

Also, no more of that Natasha Bedingfield crap. I know she's hot, but I'm calling for a week-long ceasefire on that song too.

And listen up, it DOESN'T make you clever to start over-playing "Wake Me Up When September Ends" again this year just because we're approaching September.

This no hair thing

Is it just me or has this whole shaved-head trend gone too far? I was walking through my office this morning, and I felt like I was in a cancer ward. Yes, I'm sorry you're losing your hair, but maybe you could just close crop it instead of going with smooth shiny look?

I could never shave my head. My head's all elongated with a big alien ridge on top of it. Hair is definitely my friend. I think it could be your friend too if you'd just give it a chance to grow back.

Maybe this is the future, and everyone eventually will have a shaved head like people from the future do in movies. Or, maybe people have seen too many movies with shaved-head people from the future, and so because that's what they've seen, we're creating a future of bald people. Bald people and killer robots -- not exactly a future I can rally behind.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Allergies, oh how I hate thee

My allergies are just draining the life out of me. I’ve had horrible sinus headaches and no energy for the last four days. I’ve been taking Tylenol Sinus, but I guess I’m going to have to try some Claritin or something. The pressure makes me want to drill holes in my head, but I’m thinking I’d probably end up regretting that move.

Jace and I went to Outback last night. I found a gift card in my wallet that I’ve had since Christmas. Obviously, I don’t get out much.

Happy hour tonight with T-Bone, Arick, Print.cess, and Stephanie at Onion Creek. We’ll see if we can actually keep it under control since the last happy “hour” turned into happy eight hours.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My poor nipples

I didn't bother changing shirts last night before I ran on the elliptical trainer, so I was wearing this coarse knit polo while I worked out. I woke up this morning, and found my nipples are incredibly raw. I don't think I've had nipples this sore since I stopped wearing jean jackets with no shirt.