Sunday, August 27, 2006

So we go back to the river, battle the bees, battle the ants, and almost see Bob Seger

So we went back to the river for the weekend. I wouldn’t label it as a disaster, but it wasn’t the smoothest trip we’ve ever taken. Don’t get me wrong, there was still plenty of fun, but there was equal torture for every moment of fun.

As usual we didn’t leave the house until around 9:30 p.m. Friday night and rolled into camp around 12:30 a.m. We tried to camp at a place called Mountain Breeze Camp because it was suggested by my skydiving instructor, but they weren’t too keen on people showing up past midnight. That meant we were headed back to O’Henry’s Hideaway. We pulled in and set up camp, and then had a few beers while we played guitar. That’s when the cute little skunk decided to come visit. He just kind of rooted around the campsite and then hung out under the truck for a while. Then he decided to scurry away. Thankfully he didn’t leave us any scented reminders of his visit.

We got up Saturday morning about the time Cassie and Christa rolled in. They had worked Friday night, so they hadn’t slept at all. The girls went at least 36 hours without sleep this trip. It was ridiculous.

As we got up and started wandering around the camp we realized we had an all new problem. BEES! Lots and lots of bees! There were bees everywhere, and if you didn’t know, bees LOVE really sweet-tasting, fruity, girly drinks. Cranberry vodka? Oh yeah, bees LOVE them. Sure enough, before the weekend was over, Cassie got stung on the wrist, and I got a nice sting on the palm of my hand. Plus, there was that constant fear that perhaps a bee had crawled into your can and you were about to drink a bee!

We headed down to the Comal for a float. The girls had mixed up this huge jug of cherry lime shots to supplement the beer as we were floating. Well, about 30 minutes into the float, someone didn’t get the lid back on the jug very well, and it emptied into the cooler. That was the origin of our “cooler shots.” There’s nothing like just scooping a cupful of alcoholic water out of the cooler and shooting it down. What’s so funny was that the girls started offering people “cooler shots”, and this one lady was like, “Jell-O shots?!!! Thank you!” But then they handed her a freaking cup of cooler water. It was too funny. The lady shot it down and said it was delicious.

We decided to ride the river a second time. Some of us wore sunscreen. Some of us didn’t. Those that didn’t paid the price by the end of the second trip. Jace and Cassie were majorly sunburned.

We decided to grab dinner at The Grist Mill in Gruene. When we got there, we saw this HUGE long line of people waiting to get into Gruene Hall. Once we finally got seated at The Grist Mill we asked our waiter who was playing. He said “Bob Seger.” Well, Jace flipped out because he’s a HUGE Bob Seger fan, so he was like, we HAVE to get tickets! He took off over to the hall to find out more details while we waited to order. We also started getting more and more excited about seeing Bob Seger. Then Jace gets back, and it was actually Bob Schneider, so then we didn’t really care. Not that Bob Schneider isn’t good, but you can see him anywhere.

Meanwhile there was live entertainment at The Grist Mill. This old married couple were playing in front of the water tower, and it reminded me of Will Farrel/Anna Gasteyer as Bob and Marty Culp. Geez they were bad. I need to get a CD and some headshots over to that place, and get some gigs.

So after a chicken fried steak, we headed back to the campground. Unfortunately there was no DJ Shawn in effect this Saturday. They didn’t have enough campers to bring him out for karaoke. That was a real disappointed. So to make up for it we started a big fire, and spent like three hours burning stuff and playing guitar. Good times.

So we finally went to bed Saturday night. I lay down, and after a few minutes I feel something biting me. I find a few fire ants crawling on my legs. That’s not cool, but I figured, hey, we ended up with a few ants in the tent, it’ll be fine. Then there were more bites. And more bites. And MORE bites. And then Cassie woke up over on her air mattress because she had started getting bitten. We turn on the flashlight, and there’s a HUGE trail of ants marching up the middle of the tent. They were freaking moving in. They were carrying their little larva babies up the middle of my tent and making a new nest under my foam pad.

Obviously, action had to be taken. I went and got the OFF, which isn’t actually bug killer, but I figured if I sprayed enough of it on the ants then even if it didn’t poison them they would probably drown. I probably spent close to half an hour spraying ants, squishing ants, and sweeping ants back out of the tent. It was awful. I ended up with at least a dozen fire ants bites on my arms, legs, stomach, back and groin region. They’ve been pussing up all day. It’s real comfortable – not to mention attractive.

So we finally declared the tent ant free and went back to bed. Well, the ants weren’t completely gone, but were gone enough that it was possible to get an hour or two of sleep between bites.

This morning we got up, packed up and headed home. Jace and Cassie attempted a new sunburn treatment which consisted of rubbing shaving cream all over their bodies. Supposedly the shaving cream draws out the heat. My thought is that shaving cream just has aloe and lotions in it, so it’s basically the same as rubbing lotion on it, but hey, that’s just me making assumptions and drawing conclusions. I’m not going to tell anyone not to rub shaving cream all over their body if they want to.

So you’d think, trip over, end of adventure, right? Wrong. We decided to go to McDonald’s on the way out of time. The time was 10:58 a.m. We hit the drive-through – they wouldn’t serve us lunch. I walk in thinking they’re not going to hassle a customer face to face over two freaking minutes, and I’d get my quarter pounder and be on my way. Wrong. They were like, “Sorry, it’ll be a couple more minutes.” So we say, fine, and got sit down. A guy walks up RIGHT after us, and orders a Big Mac – they give it to him. We’re like, screw that, and walk back up, but then this other lady hops in front of us in line. She gets her order too. So we finally order, and the girl gives us our drinks, but no food. Then two more people order and get their food. We’re still waiting on our food. The whole thing was turning into a Seinfeld episode.

Anyway, we finally got our food, got home, did some laundry. Now I’m just chilling out watching the Emmy’s and scratching all my bug bites.
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